FOR THE first time for nearly four years a Premiership weekend went by without the suave Jose Mourinho, but nevertheless For Kicks promises to report on the action without breaking any eggs.

Anyone at the Emirates Stadium on Saturday saw a sight rarely witnessed at Arsenal.  Yes that’s right an Englishman in the starting eleven.  What was Arsene thinking!? You may have won 5-0 at a canter Gooners’ fans but be wary, if Theo’s getting a starting place already you guys must be short on players.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Two of our sides met at St. James’s Park on Sunday with the Magpies 3-1 victors over West Ham.  Two goals from Aussie hitman Mark Viduka aided Newcastle’s cause but of more concern for people is that Toon front man Michael Owen hobbled off for the second time in as many games.  It appears since his big money purchase (having shown outstanding form previously), Owen has been galloped too hard and over groomed leaving him under performing and constantly injured.  Reminds me of something in the racing world.  Maybe Michael should be playing in blue.

You’ve got to hand it to David Moyes.  The day it’s revealed he will be offered a £15m five-year contract, his Everton side perform “like powder-puffs” and lose 2-0 at Villa.  This result means he might be able to achieve the second part of what was revealed in the News of the World about Moyes, that he would like to manage Celtic.  They know his terms!  And the final say on the lacklustre performance from Everton has to go the Times who described the side as “creatively neutered” without Mikael Arteta.  Brilliant.

Some of you may have noticed the goings on at Chelsea this week.  Jose Mourinho departed and some Israeli bloke who got a coaching badge in his packet of Cornflakes and knows how to say “Yes, Mr Abramovich” took his place.  Anyway Chelsea ended up with class 1 egg on their faces going down tamely to Manchester United.  The game was marred by some strange decisions by referee Mike Dean.  Firstly, Joe Cole pole-axed Patrice Evra in the area, no penalty. Then Jon Obi Mikel trod on the same player’s toe and was sent off.  Furthermore Joe Cole proceeded to commit GBH on Ronaldo and get away with a caution.  As you can imagine there was a lot of shrugging occurring in the Chelsea dugout.  To top it off Louis Saha was snipered in the Chelsea area (because if it was a dive it was outrageous) and the penalty awarded was promptly scored.  Despite all of this Mr Abramovich stood up and applauded vigorously at the end of the game.  He was dead chuffed with his first foray into football management.

It’s official; Southampton fans are the most depressed and suffer from the highest rate of in game heart attacks of any club.  The regular home soundtrack of miserable groaning greeted the players who slumped to a pathetic 2-0 half time reverse.  However the optimism rose as the Saints flew back and grabbed a last minute equaliser.  As the St. John’s Ambulance teams were put on heightened alert, disaster, Barnsley scored.  Cue mass cardiac arrest around the stadium and at Newbury racecourse, where a much too dedicated fan had stupidly got his hopes up.