HOW FICKLE football is.  One minute you’re the star and the next you’re the worst thing that ever happened in the history of the world.

When Roman Abramovich purchased Chelsea four or so seasons ago it was hailed as new and exciting age for ‘The Blues’.  However, now with the team in seemingly terminal decline and run by the Devil incarnate aka Peter Kenyon and managed by a man who once saw Hackney U-13s train, Mr Abramovich is a nightmare.  This then might explain why the Russian Billionaire decided to “rough it” in the Shed end on Saturday (although if it had been the old Shed end he may have gained more kudos!) in an attempt to relate to the fans.  Unfortunately for” Red Rom” (bad nickname for a start) his team were dreadful against Fulham.  The only thing we learnt is that the Black Knight from Monty Python is based on John Terry, who despite a broken foot and smashed cheekbone is keen to play Valencia on Wednesday.

Arsenal stood no chance when Henry left according to most people, but it turns out it was actually all his fault they were no good; obvious really.  They were again victorious this weekend at the expense of the Hammers.  Van Persie scored the only goal but am I the only one slightly disappointed that there wasn’t a repeat of last year’s argy bargy on the touchline?

As for Southampton, well their standing as a football club changes by the minute.  They were an alright team for 12 minutes of their game against Sheffield United before becoming pathetic, useless and a waste of space after the Blades had gone in front.  However, this lasted just two minutes as that Godly figure of Rasiak equalised.  The Saints then cemented their place in the Pantheon of great teams when dyslexic Jhon Viafara netted a winner.  Get in you good things!

The comedy department at Sky television was in full swing this weekend as they decided that Everton vs Middlesbrough was a feature game.  The Toffees had the best part of £20m worth of striking talent on the pitch at the start of the game. You may have expected them to score, but no – they were a clever tactic used to divert attention away from the real goal man, Joleon Lescott. Four for the season for the big centre-back and the scoring was completed when Stephen Pienaar bagged his first goal for the club.

For the second time in three weeks a game involving Ebbsfleet was delayed due to coach trouble.  It seems that manager Liam Daish didn’t bring enough money for the whole team to get on the Stagecoach up to Farsley so had to go to a cash point to make up the deficit.  The Fleet fell behind to a 12^th minute penalty after Sacha Opinel was adjudged to have fouled Farsley’s Grant.  Now the Ebbsfleet website described the decision to award the penalty as “harsh”, but using my extensive knowledge of Conference football I think it likely that “harsh” means that the player wasn’t hospitalised, which is normally when the fans accept a tackle was slightly dirty.  The Ebbsfleet equaliser came via midfielder Stacy Long.

Finally to Newcastle.  They were once again Owen-less as he recovered from surgery in Germany.  The Toon took the lead with a fabulous goal from Martins.  The lead didn’t last long as Man City levelled through Petrov and then drew away with goals from Mpenza and Elano (his was a bit special).  Rumour has it that Sven may be out of City quite soon. A certain Arab conglomerate are impressed by his ability to spend a vast sum of money on recruits and still get results.  Watch this space!